My high school buddy Brad and I, somewhere in the Black Hills.
I recently returned from a bike trip to South Dakota, the focus of which was the Sturgis bike rally and riding the Black Hills. I put on just under 5000km round trip, and I learned a few things along the way. I'd like to share some of them with you.
Lessons Learned on the Road
- At 100 km/h, rain stings a bit. At the same speed, hail hurts A LOT.
- Riding without a helmet is awesome, but it's sure nice to have one in a hail storm.
- Leather gloves are completely useless in the rain.
-Leather boots are completely useless in the rain.
- Mink oil, no matter how much of it you use on your leather stuff, doesn't change the last two statements in any way.
- A rider will care about how he looks in direct and opposite proportion to the deterioration of weather conditions.
- A $110 room does not necessarily mean a nice room.
- Funny looking saddlebags will get you attention even amongst $80000 custom choppers.
- No one can look you in the eye when your forehead is peeling in the shape of the contiguous United States.
- A fresh, hot, small double double could easily fetch $10 amongst the right crowd in South Dakota.
- It pays to check into your data plan before leaving the country. It costs a shitload when you forget.
- A pocket full of cash disappears very quickly at a motorcycle rally, even at $3/beer.
- Speaking of beer, the only one in South Dakota that is truly worth drinking is made in Shiner, Texas.
- If you take your jacket off, it'll rain. If you put it on, it'll get hot.
- If you have stock pipes at a motorcycle rally, a tachometer is essential.
- As the lead singer in a band at a motorcycle rally, you should never, ever say "I wanna hear you make some noise"... unless you really don't want to finish the set.
- Relating to the previous lesson, 20 Harleys are way louder than most rock bands.
- Tulsa spelled backwards is "a slut". Thank you, George Thorogood.
- A dirty bike at a bikini bike wash is a wonderful thing.
- A bikini bike wash is a wonderful thing.
-Bikinis are wonderful things.
- What was I talking about?
There's a Lesson in Here Somewhere, But I Haven't Figured it Out Yet
- There seems to be a correlation between a Ted Nugent show and violence. More on that later.
- A woman's willingness to bare her breasts in public seems to relate in some way, in negative proportions, to the general publics' willingness to look at them.
- On my way to South Dakota, severe weather attempted to keep me from leaving Regina. On my way home from South Dakota, severe weather attempted to keep me from entering Regina. So here's my question: what the hell's your problem Regina, you old cow? When people talk trash about you, I defend you. I tell them about central Albert Street, the Legislature grounds, your amazing parks. I'm on your side! Stop with the gale force cross winds and marble sized hail, already!
It may not be readily apparent after having read this blog, but I loved almost every minute of that trip, and wouldn't change a thing. The rock shows, the spectacle, the riding, the scenery, the history, the renewal of old friendships... Sturgis and the Black Hills are a treasure, and if you haven't yet been there, you MUST put it on your bucket list. Trust me.
